I really don't know how to control my life. But today was a special "horrible" day as I took some hard discussions which effects my life.

I was thinking....is the life important to me ? Yes I need money to eat/stay and play around. But things isn't the same as the good old days with the pressure that comes from home. I dont know whom to talk or whom to tell..but I am struggling.

From tomorrow I will be @ home for 5 days leave. I want to re-cap the things that I was to do and will try to change for good.